Let's drop outdated fashion tropes and dress for ourselves
If you still believe that women need to dress a certain way because of their age, please stop and ask yourself why.
I’ve been putting myself on the internet for almost 17 years. For most of those 17 years, I’ve been sharing what I wear. I was in my 40s when I started and am now almost 58. At no time during this period have I felt that I needed to change the way I put together outfits because of my age.
Spoiler alert: despite what the magazines I lived and breathed said, nothing magical happens on birthdays ending in 0. You don’t suddenly wake up the day after celebrating your 40th or 50th and think, OH YES, I really shouldn’t have had that much champagne and I definitely do need to start dressing differently (insert face palm).
My style and what I choose to wear hasn’t changed because of my age but it’s evolved because I actually feel more confident in the person I am today. I still play with fashion and trends because I find it fun to do so (side note: surely this is now something I can add to my CV under hobbies and interests) but I give fewer f&$ks what people think about a lot of things - especially what I’m wearing. I dress for myself, my mood, what’s on the calendar and the weather.
And, for a huge chunk of the year, the weather where I live is hot and humid. Ridiculously so.
I wear shorts, short dresses and skirts.
I wear dresses and tops where my arms might be out.
I wear off-the-shoulder styles.
And I’ll not hesitate to put on a swimsuit.
GASP. HORROR.
These personal style choices made in the name trying to prevent myself melting akin to the Wicked Witch of the West shouldn’t be shocking to anyone but, alas, they are.
And you know who finds these style choices the most abominable: OTHER WOMEN.
Not all women. Just a special corner of the midlife demographic are are still completely beholden to ageist, so-called fashion rules that were most probably (not-so) lovingly handed down to them by their mothers, aunties and grandmothers and further cemented in their psyche by the aforementioned fashion magazines.
Whenever one of these ageist comments lands on one of my posts, I laugh, feel incredibly sorry for the woman posting the comment, and think maybe they just need to talk to their GP about hormones. They simply cannot see that they are caught in a ridiculous misogynistic trap designed to keep women small. It’s 2025, not 1925. We have the opportunity to stop perpetuating these tropes. To stop the cycle for generations of women coming after us.
I made a conscious decision long before I was publishing on the internet that I would not pass on these outdated ideas to my daughter, any younger women in my life or especially anyone who follows me online. I implore you to do the same.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the only fashion rule to live by is this one:
Wear what you LOVE.
Simple.
This is not to diss on anyone who subscribes to dressing for their body shape or having their colours done. If that is something that lights you up and makes you feel more confident in your style, go for it.
For me, style confidence has come from deeply understanding who I really am and using that knowledge to show who I am to the world through my clothes. My style has historically been messy, chaotic and eclectic but, looking back, so was my life. Yes, my work life might still be full to overflowing, but as the mother of adults the pace of my home life has eased. There is more of a gentle rhythm to my days and more time for me. I’ve leant into that rhythm with my own version of uniform dressing based on quality wardrobe workhorses with the odd sprinkling of show ponies. It’s who I am and dressing this way makes me feel confident.
More than ever I give you permission to be the person you what the world to see. Dress for your attitude, not your age. And celebrate other women doing the same.
My uniform dressing lately
(all shoes are FRANKIE4 … I’m a proud ambassador and from time to time I have a discount code for you. You can save 20% all this month site-wide using the code NIKKI20_AW25 - shop online HERE)
Bloody hell, what miserable c*nts. You are amazing and I for one am grateful for all that you do to promote confidence and style at ANY age. Xxx
I’m so glad you’ve responded to those ridiculous women making negative comments. You’re a great advocate for feeling good in your clothes.